Year 0 Update: The Hard Conversation and the Decision That Changed Everything
Year 0 Update: The Hard Conversation and the Decision That Changed Everything
This is still Year 0.
Nothing has officially changed on paper yet. I have not shipped out. I have not raised my right hand again. I am still going to work. Still living normal life. Still doing all the same things I was doing last week.
But something did change.
I finally talked to Sadie. Really talked.
And she said yes.
The plan now is that in 2026 I will join the United States Coast Guard Reserve, go to boot camp, and then go to A School. It was not a quick decision. It was not an easy conversation. It involved compromise, long pauses, a lot of honesty, and yes, some tears.
But it was real. And it mattered.
The Conversation I Kept Avoiding
For a long time, this conversation sat in the back of my mind like unfinished homework.
I knew it needed to happen.
I knew it would not be easy.
And I knew that once it started, there was no clean way out of it.
The hardest part was not explaining why I want to do this. I know my why. I have known it for a long time. The hardest part was knowing that saying it out loud might hurt the person I love most.
It is really hard to willingly start a conversation when you know it might end with someone you love crying. It feels selfish even if the thing you are asking for is good. It feels risky even if you believe it will make you better.
So I waited longer than I should have.
That waiting did not make it easier. It just made it heavier.
What We Actually Talked About
We talked about time away.
We talked about fear.
We talked about what it means for our future.
We talked about the unknown parts that neither of us can fully control.
We also talked about growth.
We talked about how this is something I have wanted for a long time. Not as an escape. Not as a phase. But as a way to serve, to stretch myself, and to bring something back home better than I left with.
There was compromise on both sides. This was not a one sided decision. This was not a win lose conversation. It was a hard, honest, adult conversation about building a life together and figuring out how one big goal fits into that life.
That is not always pretty. But it is real.
Why This Matters to Me
I do not see this as just a military thing.
I see this as a discipline thing.
A service thing.
A leadership thing.
A character thing.
I believe going through boot camp and A School will change how I handle stress, how I lead, and how I show up for other people. I believe it will sharpen parts of me that already exist but need refining. And I believe that growth will not stop with me.
I truly believe this will be one of the best things to happen for our family in the long run. Not because it is easy. But because it is hard and meaningful.
Still Year 0
I want to be really clear about this.
This is still Year 0.
Year 0 is about preparation.
Year 0 is about alignment.
Year 0 is about doing the unseen work before anything official happens.
There is still paperwork. There are still timelines. There is still a lot to figure out. But now there is clarity and peace that did not exist before.
That matters more than checking a box.
What I Am Learning Already
Here is the lesson I am carrying with me right now.
Big dreams that affect other people require big conversations.
You cannot shortcut them. You cannot avoid them forever. And you cannot force them. You have to sit in the discomfort long enough to let honesty do its work.
Leadership is not just about making decisions. It is about inviting the people you love into the process, even when the process is hard.
This was one of those moments.
Year 0 Update Continued: What Comes Next
One of the things I am learning in this whole process is that clarity brings momentum.
Now that Sadie and I have talked and we are aligned, the question shifts from if to what’s next. And honestly, that feels grounding. Not overwhelming. Just real.
Here is what the next steps look like right now.
Step One: Talking to My Recruiter
The next real move is sitting down with my recruiter and mapping out timing.
That means planning when I would go to boot camp and when I would go to A School for the United States Coast Guard Reserve. Those timelines matter because they affect everything else in my life. Work. Family. Commitments. Leadership roles. All of it.
This is where Year 0 becomes practical.
Not just dreaming about what could happen, but putting dates, sequences, and expectations on paper. I want to understand how long I would be gone, what the gaps look like, and how to prepare well instead of scrambling later.
Good leadership plans ahead, especially when absence is involved.
Step Two: Telling Family and Friends
After that, comes another round of conversations.
Telling family.
Telling close friends.
Letting people process it in their own way.
I am fully aware that not everyone will immediately understand or be excited. That is okay. This is not about convincing people. It is about communicating honestly and giving them space to ask questions and feel what they feel.
One thing this process has already taught me is that clarity does not remove emotion. It just gives emotion a place to land.
Step Three: Planning for Time Away From Leaders of Today
This might be the part that hits closest to home.
I will need to plan for time away from Leaders of Today.
That does not mean stepping away from the mission. It means stewarding it well enough that it continues to grow even when I am not physically present.
That requires intentional leadership.
It means making sure systems are strong.
It means empowering others to lead.
It means trusting the team and the culture we have built.
In a strange way, this season will test whether I have actually built something sustainable or just something that depends on me.
That is both humbling and motivating.
Still Year 0, Just More Defined
Nothing about this feels rushed. And that matters to me.
Year 0 is not about speed. It is about alignment, preparation, and faithfulness in small decisions. Each conversation. Each plan. Each adjustment.
I am learning that sometimes the bravest thing you can do is slow down just enough to do things the right way.
Next steps are coming. They are clear. They are manageable. And they are grounded in conversation, trust, and intentional planning.
Still Year 0.
But now it feels like we are walking forward together.
Why I Write
I write these posts to stay honest about where I am, what I’m learning, and who I’m becoming. This Coast Guard path has been on my heart for a long time, and writing helps me sort through the tension, the excitement, the questions, and the growth that come with it.
I write to remember the process — not just the milestones. I want a record of the decisions, lessons, and moments that shape me as a leader, a husband, and a follower of Jesus.
Whether this journey takes me through training, onto the water, or somewhere unexpected, this space helps me stay grounded, pay attention, and move forward with intention.
Observe. Reflect. Adjust. Share.
Dream big — and start again.